{"id":3362,"date":"2016-09-24T15:29:17","date_gmt":"2016-09-24T15:29:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/christinalaurenbooks.com\/Clo2\/?p=3362"},"modified":"2020-02-04T00:59:40","modified_gmt":"2020-02-04T00:59:40","slug":"beautiful-chapter-2-and-free-stuff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/christinalaurenbooks.com\/Clo2\/2016\/09\/beautiful-chapter-2-and-free-stuff\/","title":{"rendered":"Beautiful Chapter 2 and FREE STUFF!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>HELLO FAVORITES!\u00a0It&#8217;s almost time! <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B01CO349PW\/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=B01CO349PW&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=swoontini-20&amp;linkId=7TXI35SVG4J4QZYD\">Beautiful<\/a> will be here in just over a week and we are so excited for you to see what everyone is up to. That&#8217;s right, EVERYONE. Bennett\u00a0\u2714\u00a0Chloe\u00a0\u2714\u00a0Max\u00a0\u2714\u00a0Sara\u00a0\u2714\u00a0Will\u00a0\u2714\u00a0Hanna\u00a0\u2714\u00a0Niall\u00a0\u2714\u00a0Ruby\u00a0\u2714\u00a0Pippa\u00a0\u2714 Jensen\u00a0\u2714\u00a0and George. YES GEORGE\u00a0\u2714. And if you&#8217;ve preordered your copy&#8211;but of course you have because preordering is like <em>magic<\/em>&#8211;fill out this form\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.simonandschusterpublishing.com\/beautiful-book-sweepstakes\/\">here<\/a> and we&#8217;ll send you a free Beautiful series digital sampler with never-before-seen notes.\u00a0That&#8217;s right, a chapter from each book with our notes, comments and penis doodles. You can also be entered to win one of 2 Beautiful themed baskets from our awesome publisher, Gallery Books.<\/p>\n<p>Now about chapter 2&#8230;\u00a0We want you to read chapter 2, but also want to warn you that there&#8217;s a bit of a spoiler in here. IT&#8217;S AN AWESOME SPOILER, but a big one. So if you don&#8217;t like that kind of thing, feel free to wait until Oct 4 when you can read Beautiful in full. We think that&#8217;s about it! Have an awesome weekend, if you&#8217;ve preordered be sure to fill out this form <a href=\"https:\/\/www.sambla.fi\/pikavippi\/\">here<\/a>, and happy reading. Love you guys and we&#8217;ll have some fun stuff to talk about soon!<\/p>\n<ul class=\"list-inline\">\n<li class=\"store-link amazon\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B01CO349PW\/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=B01CO349PW&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=swoontini-20&amp;linkId=7TXI35SVG4J4QZYD\">Amazon<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"store-link target\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.target.com\/p\/beautiful-paperback-exclusive-by-christina-lauren\/-\/A-51605745\">Target<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"store-link barnes_and_noble\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.barnesandnoble.com\/w\/beautiful-christina-lauren\/1123497158?ean=9781501128004\">Barnes &amp; Noble<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"store-link itunes\"><a href=\"https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/book\/beautiful\/id1091032154?mt=11\">iTunes<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"store-link kobo_books\"><a href=\"https:\/\/store.kobobooks.com\/en-us\/ebook\/beautiful-33\">Kobo Books<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"store-link google_play\"><a href=\"https:\/\/play.google.com\/store\/books\/details\/Christina_Lauren_Beautiful?id=iyizCwAAQBAJ&amp;hl=en\">Google Play<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"store-link amazon_ca\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.ca\/Beautiful-Book-10-Christina-Lauren-ebook\/dp\/B01CO349PW\/ref=sr_1_1_twi_kin_1?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1457460295&amp;sr=1-1\">Amazon.ca<\/a><\/li>\n<li class=\"store-link amazon_co_uk\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/Beautiful-Christina-Lauren-ebook\/dp\/B01CO4B468\/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8\">Amazon.co.uk<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul class=\"list-inline\">\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/books.simonandschuster.com\/Beautiful\/Christina-Lauren\/BEAUTIFUL-SERIES\/9781501127991\">Simon &amp; Schuster<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.therippedbodicela.com\/book\/9781501127991\">The Ripped Bodice<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.fr\/Beautiful-Christina-Lauren\/dp\/B011XS3B8K\/ref=sr_1_32?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1469996896&amp;sr=1-32&amp;keywords=Beautiful+christina+lauren\">Amazon France<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.kingsenglish.com\/book\/9781501127991\">The King\u2019s English<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.mystgalaxy.com\/book\/9781501127991\">Mysterious Galaxy<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.indiebound.org\/book\/9781501127991\">Indie Bound<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.hudsonbooksellers.com\/book\/9781501127991\">Hudson Booksellers<\/a><\/li>\n<li><a href=\"http:\/\/www.audible.com\/pd\/Romance\/Beautiful-Audiobook\/B01ITM8CG4\/ref=a_search_c4_1_1_srTtl?qid=1469997096&amp;sr=1-1\">Audible<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Two<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><em>Jensen<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I could remember exactly one flight more awkward than that<\/p>\n<p>one.<\/p>\n<p>It was the June after my freshman year in college, and<\/p>\n<p>about ten months after I\u2019d met Will Sumner. He\u2019d blown into<\/p>\n<p>Baltimore, the guy with the smile, swagger, and certainty<\/p>\n<p>that he and I were going to be partners in crime. For someone<\/p>\n<p>like me whose life had been, up to that point, quiet and<\/p>\n<p>sheltered, Will Sumner was the best kind of wrecking ball.<\/p>\n<p>That summer, we went to Niagara Falls with his extended<\/p>\n<p>family and . . . let\u2019s say we <em>happened upon <\/em>a VHS tape of<\/p>\n<p>some badly shot porn. There was no music, no faces, and it<\/p>\n<p>was all done by one stationary camera, but nonetheless we<\/p>\n<p>watched it over and over until we were blurry and desensitized,<\/p>\n<p>reciting the dirty talk in unison and shoveling Pringles<\/p>\n<p>into our mouths.<\/p>\n<p>It was the first time I\u2019d ever seen someone having <em>real<\/em><\/p>\n<p>sex, and I thought it was fucking stellar . . . until Will\u2019s<\/p>\n<p>pretty aunt Jessica panicked at the airport, unable to find<\/p>\n<p>her \u201chome movie\u201d in her carry-on.<\/p>\n<p>I sat next to Aunt Jessica the entire flight, and it\u2019s safe to<\/p>\n<p>say I did not play it very cool. At all. I was sweaty palms and<\/p>\n<p>monosyllables and constant awareness that I knew what she<\/p>\n<p>looked like naked. I knew what she looked like <em>having sex. <\/em>My<\/p>\n<p>sheltered brain could barely handle that kind of information.<\/p>\n<p>Will was about as sympathetic as expected, pelting me<\/p>\n<p>with tiny balls of his napkins and peanuts across the aisle.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat\u2019s got you all tied up, Jens?\u201d he\u2019d called. \u201cYou look<\/p>\n<p>like someone saw <em>you <\/em>naked.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Pippa was a different kind of awkward entirely. She was<\/p>\n<p>the kind of awkward where pretty and engaging turns into<\/p>\n<p>smeary makeup and incessant rambling from the miracle of<\/p>\n<p>alcohol. The kind where you feign sleep for more than three<\/p>\n<p>hours when your brain is panic-scrolling through the list of<\/p>\n<p>ways the time on the plane might be better spent.<\/p>\n<p>As we made the trek to baggage claim, the low hum of<\/p>\n<p>airport noise drifted over me. It was nearly as familiar as<\/p>\n<p>the sound of my heater switching on at night, or my own<\/p>\n<p>goddamn breathing. I could sense Pippa behind me, chatting<\/p>\n<p>idly with her grandfather. Her voice was nice\u2014accent<\/p>\n<p>thick with the polish of London and the streets of Bristol.<\/p>\n<p>Her face was great, eyes bright and mischievous; they were<\/p>\n<p>actually what drew me in right away because they were such<\/p>\n<p>a startling blue, and so expressive. But I was afraid to make<\/p>\n<p>eye contact and begin the talking all over again. I\u2019d felt her<\/p>\n<p>apology practically bubbling up as I nearly sprinted from the<\/p>\n<p>plane, and worried that if I gave her an opening, she would<\/p>\n<p>take it without question.<\/p>\n<p>I rubbed my eyes and then spotted my suitcase sliding<\/p>\n<p>down onto the carousel. There was something almost comically<\/p>\n<p>intense about the message I felt I was receiving. Just<\/p>\n<p>when I began to consider whether I was looking for women<\/p>\n<p>in the wrong places, whether I was wrong about my type,<\/p>\n<p>whether I should be more adventurous in dating, the universe<\/p>\n<p>trapped me on a flight with a woman who was gorgeous,<\/p>\n<p>eccentric, and <em>completely insane<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><em>So let\u2019s not get ahead of ourselves, Jens. Stick with what<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>you know.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Maybe Softball Emily wasn\u2019t so bad after all.<\/p>\n<p>My driver stood with a placard bearing my name, and I<\/p>\n<p>nodded, wordlessly following her out of the airport. The car<\/p>\n<p>was dark and cool, and I immediately pulled my phone back<\/p>\n<p>out, letting my brain slip into that familiar space where work<\/p>\n<p>lived and breathed.<\/p>\n<p>I would call Jacob on Monday to set up a time to review<\/p>\n<p>the Petersen Pharma files.<\/p>\n<p>I should email Eleanor in HR about getting someone to<\/p>\n<p>replace Melissa in the San Francisco office.<\/p>\n<p>I would need to get in early next week to tackle this inbox.<\/p>\n<p>The car pulled up at the curb in front of my brownstone,<\/p>\n<p>and it felt like a gentle tug, unwinding me.<\/p>\n<p>Fall was upon us, spiraling through the trees that canopied<\/p>\n<p>the streets, turning everything somehow brighter before<\/p>\n<p>it all dimmed for the interminable months of winter. The<\/p>\n<p>air outside was biting after the warmth of the car, and I met<\/p>\n<p>the driver at the back, handing her a hefty tip for getting us<\/p>\n<p>here so efficiently in Boston rush hour.<\/p>\n<p>This London trip had been only a week, but it felt like<\/p>\n<p>an eternity. Mergers were one thing. International mergers<\/p>\n<p>were another. But international mergers gone wrong? Brutal.<\/p>\n<p>Endless paperwork. Endless depositions. Endless details<\/p>\n<p>to scrounge up and record. Endless travel.<\/p>\n<p>Staring up at my house\u2014a simple two-story, two lights<\/p>\n<p>on in the bay window, front door framed by potted plants\u2014I<\/p>\n<p>let the unwinding work its way through me. As much as I<\/p>\n<p>traveled, I was a homebody at heart, and fuck if it didn\u2019t<\/p>\n<p>feel good to be so close to my own bed. I didn\u2019t even feel<\/p>\n<p>privately embarrassed that the call of takeout delivery and<\/p>\n<p>Netflix made me feel a little drunk.<\/p>\n<p>The house lit up with the flick of a single switch, and before<\/p>\n<p>I did anything else, I unpacked\u2014if for no other reason<\/p>\n<p>than to hide the evidence that I\u2019d been traveling and would<\/p>\n<p>no doubt have to fly again soon. <em>Denial, you are my favorite<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>lover.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Suitcase unpacked, dinner ordered, Netflix loaded and<\/p>\n<p>ready, and, as if on cue, my youngest sister, Ziggy\u2014Hanna<\/p>\n<p>to anyone outside our family\u2014opened the door with her set<\/p>\n<p>of keys.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey,\u201d she called out.<\/p>\n<p>Like she had no reason to knock.<\/p>\n<p>Like she knew I\u2019d be sitting right here, in sweats and<\/p>\n<p>slippers.<\/p>\n<p>Alone.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey,\u201d I said, watching as she threw her keys toward the<\/p>\n<p>bowl on the table near the door and missed by at least two<\/p>\n<p>feet. \u201cNice shot, loser.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She smacked my head as she walked by. \u201cDid you just<\/p>\n<p>get home?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYeah. Sorry. I was going to call you after I ate.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She stopped, turning to look at me quizzically. \u201cWhy? Am<\/p>\n<p>I your \u2018Honey, I\u2019m home\u2019 call?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She turned away and I stared at her back as she retrieved<\/p>\n<p>a beer for me and a glass of water for herself.<\/p>\n<p>When she returned, I grumbled, \u201cThat\u2019s a terrible thing<\/p>\n<p>to say.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIs it inaccurate?\u201d She flopped down next to me on the<\/p>\n<p>couch.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhy are you even here?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ziggy was married to my best friend of more than fifteen<\/p>\n<p>years, Will\u2014of Aunt Jessica fame\u2014and the two of them<\/p>\n<p>lived not five minutes down the road in a house much bigger<\/p>\n<p>and much more lived-in than this one.<\/p>\n<p>She pulled her hair over her shoulder and grinned at me.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt has been <em>suggested <\/em>that I \u2018stomp around the house,\u2019<\/p>\n<p>thereby \u2018making it difficult to have work calls at night.\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ziggs shrugged and sipped her water. \u201cWill has some big<\/p>\n<p>conference call with someone in Australia, so I figured I\u2019d<\/p>\n<p>hang here until I get the all-clear.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHungry? I ordered Thai.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She nodded. \u201cYou must be tired.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I shrugged. \u201cMy clock is a little off.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m sure a quiet night sounds good. I\u2019m sure there\u2019s no<\/p>\n<p>one you\u2019re dying to see now that you\u2019re home.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>With my beer tilted toward my lips, I froze, sliding my<\/p>\n<p>eyes to her. \u201cStop it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>To be fair, my entire family tended to be overly concerned<\/p>\n<p>with the goings-on in each other\u2019s lives, and I would admit<\/p>\n<p>to playing the protective older brother on more than one occasion.<\/p>\n<p>But I didn\u2019t like having my youngest sibling stepping<\/p>\n<p>into my game.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow\u2019s Emily?\u201d she asked, and faked a yawn.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cZiggs.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Knowing exactly how big a brat she was being, she turned<\/p>\n<p>and looked at me. \u201cShe scrapbooks, Jensen. And she offered<\/p>\n<p>to help me organize the garage.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat sounds pretty friendly to me,\u201d I said, scrolling through<\/p>\n<p>the channels.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThis is her <em>before <\/em>marriage, Jens. These are her <em>zany<\/em><\/p>\n<p>days.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I ignored this, trying not to laugh and encourage her.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEmily and I aren\u2019t really a thing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Thankfully, she decided not to push or make some sex<\/p>\n<p>joke. \u201cAre you coming over tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat\u2019s tomorrow?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ziggy glared at me. \u201cSeriously? How many times have<\/p>\n<p>we talked about this?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I groaned, standing up and trying to think of a reason I<\/p>\n<p>needed to leave the room. \u201cWhy are you laying into me? I<\/p>\n<p>just got home!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJens, we\u2019re hosting Annabel\u2019s third birthday tomorrow!<\/p>\n<p>Sara is ready to pop with their seventieth child, so she and<\/p>\n<p>Max couldn\u2019t handle throwing it at their place. Everyone is<\/p>\n<p>coming up from New York. You knew about this! You said<\/p>\n<p>you\u2019d be home in time.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cRight. Right. Yeah, I guess I\u2019ll stop by.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She stared at me. \u201cThere\u2019s no <em>stopping by<\/em>. Come <em>hang<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>out<\/em>, Jensen\u2014how wonderfully ironic that I\u2019m the one telling<\/p>\n<p>you this. When was the last time you went out with friends?<\/p>\n<p>When was the last time you were social, or went on a date<\/p>\n<p>with someone other than Softball Emily?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t answer this. I dated more than my sister knew,<\/p>\n<p>but she was right that I wasn\u2019t all that invested. I\u2019d been<\/p>\n<p>married once. To sweet, playful Becky Henley. We\u2019d met my<\/p>\n<p>sophomore year in college, dated for nine years, and then<\/p>\n<p>been married for four months before I came home to find<\/p>\n<p>her packing her things through a haze of tears.<\/p>\n<p><em>It didn\u2019t feel right<\/em>, she\u2019d said. <em>It never really felt right<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>And that was all the explanation I ever got.<\/p>\n<p>Okay, so at twenty-eight I\u2019d had my law degree and was<\/p>\n<p>newly divorced\u2014turns out there\u2019s not a lot of that going<\/p>\n<p>around\u2014so I\u2019d focused on my career. Full steam. For six<\/p>\n<p>years, I made nice with the partners, climbed the ladder,<\/p>\n<p>grew my team, became indispensable to the firm.<\/p>\n<p>Only to find myself spending my Friday nights with my<\/p>\n<p>baby sister, being lectured about being more social.<\/p>\n<p>And she was right: it <em>was <\/em>ironic that she was the one<\/p>\n<p>having this conversation with me. Three years ago I\u2019d said<\/p>\n<p>the exact same thing to her.<\/p>\n<p>I sighed.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJensen,\u201d she said, pulling me back down onto the couch.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re the worst.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I was. I was absolutely the worst at taking advice. I knew<\/p>\n<p>I needed to get out of this work rut. I knew I needed to<\/p>\n<p>infuse some fun into my life. And as averse as I was to discussing<\/p>\n<p>it with my sister, I knew I would probably enjoy being<\/p>\n<p>in a committed relationship. The problem was, I almost<\/p>\n<p>didn\u2019t know where to start. The prospect always felt so<\/p>\n<p>overwhelming. The longer I was single, the harder it seemed<\/p>\n<p>to compromise with someone.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou didn\u2019t go out in London at all, did you?\u201d Ziggs said,<\/p>\n<p>turning to face me. \u201cNot once?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I thought back to the lead attorney on the London side<\/p>\n<p>of our team, Vera Eatherton. She\u2019d come over to me just<\/p>\n<p>as we\u2019d wrapped up for the day. We\u2019d talked for a few<\/p>\n<p>minutes and then I\u2019d known the second her expression<\/p>\n<p>shifted, eyes turned down to the floor with an air of shyness<\/p>\n<p>I had yet to see from her, that she was going to ask<\/p>\n<p>me out.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCare to grab a bite later?\u201d she\u2019d asked.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d smiled at her. She was very pretty. A few years older<\/p>\n<p>than I was, she was in great shape, tall and slender with<\/p>\n<p>great curves. I <em>should <\/em>want to grab a bite later. I should<\/p>\n<p>want to grab a lot more than that.<\/p>\n<p>But putting aside the complications from a workplace<\/p>\n<p>standpoint, the idea of dating\u2014even of a simple night of<\/p>\n<p>sex\u2014exhausted me.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo,\u201d I told Ziggy. \u201cI didn\u2019t go out. Not the way you mean.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhere\u2019s my player brother?\u201d she asked, giving me a goofy<\/p>\n<p>grin.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI think you have me confused with your husband.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She ignored this. \u201cYou were in London for a week and<\/p>\n<p>spent all your free time in your hotel. <em>Alone<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s not entirely accurate.\u201d I hadn\u2019t been in my room,<\/p>\n<p>actually. I\u2019d been all over, visiting landmarks and taking in<\/p>\n<p>the city, but she was right about one thing: I\u2019d done it alone.<\/p>\n<p>She raised a brow, daring me to prove her wrong. \u201cWill said<\/p>\n<p>last night you need to get a bit of the college Jensen back.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I glared at her. \u201cDon\u2019t talk to Will about how we were in<\/p>\n<p>college anymore. He was an idiot.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou were both idiots.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWill was head idiot,\u201d I said. \u201cI just followed him around.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s not the way he tells it,\u201d she said with a grin.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou\u2019re weird,\u201d I told her.<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>I\u2019m <\/em>weird? You have lights on a timer, a Roomba to keep<\/p>\n<p>your floor clean even when you\u2019re out of town, you unpack<\/p>\n<p>within minutes of entering your house\u2014and <em>I\u2019m <\/em>the weird<\/p>\n<p>one?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I opened my mouth to answer and then shut it, holding<\/p>\n<p>up a finger so she wouldn\u2019t let loose another playful tirade.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI loathe you,\u201d I said finally, and a giggle burst free from<\/p>\n<p>her throat.<\/p>\n<p>The doorbell rang, and I went to grab the takeout, then<\/p>\n<p>brought it into the kitchen. I loved Ziggy. Since she\u2019d moved<\/p>\n<p>back to Boston, seeing her a few times a week had admittedly<\/p>\n<p>been good for both of us. But I hated to think she worried<\/p>\n<p>about me.<\/p>\n<p>And it wasn\u2019t just Ziggy.<\/p>\n<p>My entire family thought I didn\u2019t know they bought extra<\/p>\n<p>gifts for me at Christmas because I didn\u2019t have a girlfriend<\/p>\n<p>putting presents under the tree. They always left the plusone<\/p>\n<p>question hanging when they invited me over for dinner.<\/p>\n<p>If I brought a random stranger into my parents\u2019 house for<\/p>\n<p>Sunday dinner and announced I was going to marry her, my<\/p>\n<p>entire family would lose their minds celebrating.<\/p>\n<p>There was nothing worse than being the oldest of five<\/p>\n<p>children and also being the one everyone had to worry<\/p>\n<p>about. Making sure they always knew <em>I was fine, totally, completely<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>fine <\/em>was exhausting.<\/p>\n<p>But it didn\u2019t stop me from trying. Especially because<\/p>\n<p>when I\u2019d pushed Ziggs to get out into the world more she\u2019d<\/p>\n<p>met up with Will, of all people, and their story was a happily<\/p>\n<p>ever after I couldn\u2019t begrudge either of them.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay,\u201d I said, bringing her a plate of food and sitting<\/p>\n<p>back down beside her on the couch. \u201cRemind me about the<\/p>\n<p>party. What time?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEleven,\u201d she said. \u201cI wrote it on your calendar on the<\/p>\n<p>fridge. Do you even look at that, or did you immediately<\/p>\n<p>throw out the Post-it note because it marred the perfectly<\/p>\n<p>stoic surface of your lonely refrigerator?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I quickly swallowed a sip of beer. \u201cCan you put the lecture<\/p>\n<p>on pause for a second? Come on, honey, I\u2019m tired. I<\/p>\n<p>don\u2019t want to do this tonight. Just tell me what I need to<\/p>\n<p>bring.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She gave me an apologetic smile before shoving a forkful<\/p>\n<p>of rice and green curry in her mouth. Swallowing, she<\/p>\n<p>said, \u201cNothing. Just come over. I got a pi\u00f1ata and a bunch<\/p>\n<p>of little-girl stuff, like tiaras and . . . pony things.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c \u2018Pony things\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She shrugged, laughing. \u201cKid stuff! I\u2019m lame! I don\u2019t<\/p>\n<p>even know what they\u2019re called.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201c \u2018Party favors\u2019?\u201d I offered with dramatic finger quotes.<\/p>\n<p>She smacked my arm. \u201cWhatever. Yes. Oh! And Will is<\/p>\n<p>cooking.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAw, yes!\u201d I fist-pumped. My best friend had recently discovered<\/p>\n<p>a love for all things culinary, and to say we were all<\/p>\n<p>benefitting from it would be understating the extra hour I<\/p>\n<p>had to put in at the gym every night to compensate. \u201cHow<\/p>\n<p>is our little chef? Catching up on episodes of <em>Barefoot Contessa<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p>He does fill out an apron quite nicely, I\u2019ll admit that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She looked at me sidelong. \u201cYou better hope I don\u2019t tell<\/p>\n<p>him you said that, or you\u2019ll be cut off from dinners. I swear<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve put on five pounds since he got into this pastry obsession.<\/p>\n<p>Not that I\u2019m complaining, mind you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPastry? I thought he was on a Mediterranean kick.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She waved me off. \u201cThat was last week. This week he\u2019s<\/p>\n<p>mastering desserts for Annabel.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I felt my brows furrow. \u201cIs she an especially picky eater?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, my husband is just insane for his goddaughter.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ziggy slid another bite of food into her mouth.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo if everyone\u2019s in town, I\u2019m guessing you\u2019ll have a full<\/p>\n<p>house tomorrow night,\u201d I said. Between our sister Liv\u2019s two<\/p>\n<p>kids and our friends Max and Sara in New York about to<\/p>\n<p>have their fourth, the adult contingent would soon be outnumbered<\/p>\n<p>by adorable rug rats. Ziggs loved having the kids<\/p>\n<p>over, and I was willing to bet money that Will would have at<\/p>\n<p>least one of them attached to his leg for the majority of the<\/p>\n<p>weekend.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cActually, no,\u201d she said with a laugh. \u201cMax and the family<\/p>\n<p>are staying at a hotel. Bennett and Chloe are staying with us.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBennett and <em>Chloe<\/em>?\u201d I asked, grinning. \u201cYou\u2019re not afraid?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo, that\u2019s the best part.\u201d She leaned in, eyes wide. \u201cIt\u2019s<\/p>\n<p>like Chloe and Sara have traded personalities during their<\/p>\n<p>pregnancies. You seriously have to see it to believe it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>*******<\/p>\n<p>As predicted, when Ziggy opened the door Saturday morning,<\/p>\n<p>the only thing I could see behind her was a flash of<\/p>\n<p>color and silk and tiny sprinting bodies. A small child ran<\/p>\n<p>into her legs, hugging them fiercely and propelling her forward<\/p>\n<p>into my arms.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHey,\u201d my sister said, grinning up at me. \u201cI bet you\u2019re<\/p>\n<p>already glad you came.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I glanced over her shoulder at the entryway beyond. A<\/p>\n<p>pile of assorted children\u2019s shoes lay near the front door,<\/p>\n<p>and I could see a mountain of birthday presents stacked<\/p>\n<p>on the dining room table through a wide, Craftsman-style<\/p>\n<p>doorway.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m always up for some of Will\u2019s cooking,\u201d I said, setting<\/p>\n<p>her upright and stepping past her into the melee. In the<\/p>\n<p>distance, over the sound of Will\u2019s deep laugh in the kitchen,<\/p>\n<p>was a chorus of squeals and shrieks and what I imagined<\/p>\n<p>to be Annabel\u2019s clear cry of \u201cIt\u2019s my birthday! I get to be<\/p>\n<p>Superman!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I needed more coffee.<\/p>\n<p>I wasn\u2019t really a very deep sleeper and had spent a majority<\/p>\n<p>of the middle of last night awake, sitting in my living<\/p>\n<p>room and trying to remember each of the times I\u2019d done<\/p>\n<p>something purely social\u2014for myself\u2014in the past five years.<\/p>\n<p>The problem was, other than the gym, my softball games<\/p>\n<p>on Thursdays, and drinks or coffee with one of my friends<\/p>\n<p>afterward, I didn\u2019t feel like I had all that much going on. My<\/p>\n<p>social calendar was packed, sure, but it was nearly always<\/p>\n<p>a work dinner, a visiting client, some milestone the partners<\/p>\n<p>wanted to mark with a lavish meal. Two years ago I\u2019d<\/p>\n<p>come to the depressing realization that too much time on<\/p>\n<p>the road and the couch had left me out of shape. I\u2019d started<\/p>\n<p>running and weightlifting again, dropping thirty pounds and<\/p>\n<p>putting on some muscle. I rediscovered my love for fitness<\/p>\n<p>only to realize that I hadn\u2019t actually done it to look better or<\/p>\n<p>catch someone\u2019s eye. I\u2019d done it to <em>feel <\/em>better. Aside from<\/p>\n<p>that, nothing significant in my life had changed since then.<\/p>\n<p>My failed marriage was something I tried not to think<\/p>\n<p>about, but late into last night I had registered that Becky\u2019s<\/p>\n<p>leaving me had set off a chain reaction: heartbreak led me<\/p>\n<p>to dive into work, which brought me success, which grew<\/p>\n<p>into its own sort of obsessive reward. And at some point<\/p>\n<p>I knew I had to commit either to work, or to a life outside<\/p>\n<p>of it. Six years ago, with bitterness fueling most of my<\/p>\n<p>thoughts about romantic relationships, the decision had<\/p>\n<p>been easy.<\/p>\n<p>Now I was happy, wasn\u2019t I? Not entirely <em>fulfilled<\/em>, maybe,<\/p>\n<p>but content, at the very least. But my sister\u2019s mild needling<\/p>\n<p>last night had sent me into a cold panic. Was I going to die<\/p>\n<p>an old man in my neat-as-a-pin not-so-bachelor pad while<\/p>\n<p>color-coding a closet full of cardigans? Should I give up now<\/p>\n<p>and take up gardening?<\/p>\n<p>I slipped down the hall and out the back into the yard.<\/p>\n<p>Dozens of balloons were tied to the fence and the trees,<\/p>\n<p>anchored with ribbons to white folding chairs, and arranged<\/p>\n<p>along a series of small round tables. A white cake with ruffled<\/p>\n<p>frosting topped with a little plastic giraffe, elephant, and<\/p>\n<p>zebra sat in the center of the largest table near the patio.<\/p>\n<p>A handful of small children in sweaters and scarves<\/p>\n<p>raced across the lawn and I stepped carefully out of their<\/p>\n<p>way and toward the cluster of grown-up-size humans near<\/p>\n<p>the grill.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJens!\u201d Will\u2019s familiar voice called to me, and I maneuvered<\/p>\n<p>my way over to him. More balloons hung from a<\/p>\n<p>vine-covered pergola, along with a safari-themed birthday<\/p>\n<p>banner.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI have never had a birthday party this cool,\u201d I said, star-<\/p>\n<p>ing behind me at the color explosion in the backyard. \u201cAnnabel<\/p>\n<p>doesn\u2019t even live here. Who are all these kids?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell, Liv\u2019s kids are . . . somewhere,\u201d he said, glancing<\/p>\n<p>around. \u201cThe rest belong to Max and Sara, or people Hanna<\/p>\n<p>works with.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I blinked at him before looking back out at the yard. \u201cThis<\/p>\n<p>is your future.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I said it with a joking bleakness, but Will beamed. \u201cYep.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay, okay. I think I\u2019m past the opportunity for more coffee.<\/p>\n<p>Where\u2019s the beer?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He pointed to a cooler beneath their large oak tree. \u201cBut<\/p>\n<p>there\u2019s some scotch inside you might want to try.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I turned just as Max Stella stepped out onto the patio,<\/p>\n<p>grinning over at the gaggle of kids sprinting around the lawn.<\/p>\n<p>Max and Will had started a venture capital firm together<\/p>\n<p>years ago in New York, and seemed to be the exalted odd<\/p>\n<p>couple of arts and sciences: their expertise and keen eyes<\/p>\n<p>for their respective fields had made them both very rich<\/p>\n<p>men. Though, I\u2019ll admit, at six foot six and a genuine wall of<\/p>\n<p>muscle, Max looked more rugby brute than art fanatic.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf only we all made friends so easily,\u201d Max said, watching<\/p>\n<p>the kids run amok.<\/p>\n<p>His wife, Sara, followed him out, holding her heavy pregnant<\/p>\n<p>belly and sitting in the chair Max held steady for her.<\/p>\n<p>I shook his hand in greeting before turning to Sara.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPlease don\u2019t get up,\u201d I told her, bending to place a kiss on<\/p>\n<p>her cheek.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m trying to be in a bad mood,\u201d she said, a hint of a<\/p>\n<p>smile tugging at her mouth. \u201cYour chivalry is melting my<\/p>\n<p>pregnancy rage.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI promise to work harder on being a jerk,\u201d I said solemnly.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThough congratulations are in order\u2014I haven\u2019t seen you<\/p>\n<p>since this one started cooking. What is this? Number four?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFour in what is it now, Max? Four years?\u201d Will said, grinning<\/p>\n<p>over the top of his beer. \u201cMaybe take a nap or something.<\/p>\n<p>Find a hobby.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The door opened again and Bennett Ryan stepped out,<\/p>\n<p>followed by Ziggy and a very pregnant Chloe.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019d say he\u2019s already got a hobby,\u201d Bennett said.<\/p>\n<p>Bennett and Max had been friends since they\u2019d attended<\/p>\n<p>school together in Europe. And while Max was all friendly<\/p>\n<p>smiles and charm, Bennett was the personification of stony.<\/p>\n<p>He rarely joked\u2014or smiled much, that I had seen\u2014so when<\/p>\n<p>he did, you noticed. His mouth went a little lopsided, the<\/p>\n<p>line of his shoulders softened. He got that way when he<\/p>\n<p>looked at his wife, too.<\/p>\n<p>He was practically beaming now.<\/p>\n<p>It was . . . disorienting.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJensen!\u201d The sound of my name jerked my attention<\/p>\n<p>around behind me again. Chloe crossed the patio and<\/p>\n<p>pulled me down into a hug.<\/p>\n<p>I blinked for a moment, glancing curiously over to Will<\/p>\n<p>before finally wrapping my arms around her. I had, without a<\/p>\n<p>doubt, never hugged Chloe before.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cH-Hey there! How are you?\u201d I said, pulling back to look<\/p>\n<p>at her. Both pregnant women were small-boned, but where<\/p>\n<p>Sara was willowy and delicate, there was a fierceness about<\/p>\n<p>Chloe you couldn\u2019t overlook. The Chloe I knew was not exactly<\/p>\n<p>what you\u2019d call touchy-feely, and I was at a bit of a loss<\/p>\n<p>for words. \u201cYou look\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHappy!\u201d she finished for me, and reached down to<\/p>\n<p>place a hand on her round stomach. \u201cEcstatic and just . . .<\/p>\n<p>blissed the fuck out?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I laughed. \u201cWell . . . yes?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She winced, looking down at the kids on the lawn. \u201cShit,<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d better work on not swearing.\u201d Realizing what she\u2019d just<\/p>\n<p>said, she groaned, laughing. \u201cI am hopeless!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Bennett slid a gentle hand around her shoulders and she<\/p>\n<p>leaned into him . . . and then <em>giggled<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>We all stared on in bewildered silence.<\/p>\n<p>Finally Max spoke: \u201cThey haven\u2019t tried to kill each other<\/p>\n<p>in at least four months. It\u2019s confusing the hell out of everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m worrying everyone with how agreeable I\u2019ve been,\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Chloe said with a nod. \u201cMeanwhile sweet Sara couldn\u2019t<\/p>\n<p>open a jar of peanut butter last week and lost it so completely<\/p>\n<p>she launched it out the window and onto the sidewalk<\/p>\n<p>of Madison Avenue.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Sara laughed. \u201cNo one was injured. Just my pride, and<\/p>\n<p>my long-running streak of good behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cGeorge has threatened to leave Sara and go work for<\/p>\n<p>Chloe,\u201d Bennett said, referring to Sara\u2019s assistant, who had<\/p>\n<p>a famous snark-hate relationship with Chloe. \u201cArmageddon<\/p>\n<p>is clearly upon us.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay, okay, quit hogging my brother.\u201d Ziggy stepped<\/p>\n<p>around Chloe and threw her arms around my neck. \u201cYou\u2019re<\/p>\n<p>still here!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I gazed again in confusion at Will. \u201cOf course I\u2019m still<\/p>\n<p>here. I haven\u2019t been given cake yet.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>As if I\u2019d uttered the magic word, a handful of children<\/p>\n<p>appeared, bouncing excitedly and asking if it was time to<\/p>\n<p>blow out the candles. Ziggy excused herself and led them to<\/p>\n<p>where another group was playing Red Rover.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhen are you both due?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSara is due at the end of December,\u201d Chloe said. \u201cI\u2019m<\/p>\n<p>December first.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>At that, we all seemed to take a moment to look around<\/p>\n<p>us, sitting in the mild October chill with leaves falling sporadically.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDon\u2019t worry, I\u2019m fine,\u201d she said, noting everyone\u2019s motherhen<\/p>\n<p>expressions. \u201cThis is my last trip and then I\u2019m back in<\/p>\n<p>New York until this little thing arrives.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you know if you\u2019re having a boy or girl?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n<p>Bennett shook his head. \u201cChloe\u2019s DNA has definitely<\/p>\n<p>been handed down, because the baby was too stubborn to<\/p>\n<p>let the technician get a good enough look to tell.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Max snorted, glancing expectantly at Chloe for her sharp<\/p>\n<p>comeback, but Chloe just shrugged and smiled.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo true!\u201d she sang, stretching to kiss Bennett\u2019s jaw.<\/p>\n<p>Given that Bennett and Chloe\u2019s unique brand of flirtation<\/p>\n<p>looked strongly like verbal sparring matches, watching her<\/p>\n<p>brush aside his attempt to rile her up was . . . well, kind of<\/p>\n<p>disconcerting in a way. For all its normalcy, it was a bit like<\/p>\n<p>watching an alien courtship ritual.<\/p>\n<p>Ziggy returned from the yard with the birthday girl in tow.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe kiddos are getting restless,\u201d she said, and everyone<\/p>\n<p>took that as a sign that it was time to get the party started.<\/p>\n<p>I made small talk with Sara, Will, Bennett, and Chloe<\/p>\n<p>while Max, my sister, and a few of the other parents handed<\/p>\n<p>out ingredients to make some sort of dirt cup, complete<\/p>\n<p>with crushed Oreos, pudding, and gummy worms.<\/p>\n<p>Max\u2019s brother Niall and his wife, Ruby, were the last to arrive,<\/p>\n<p>but I missed it in the chaos of sugar-fueled preschoolers.<\/p>\n<p>It was slightly jarring meeting Niall Stella for the first time.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d grown used to being near Max, whose height was easy<\/p>\n<p>to forget because he seemed so comfortable in his skin, so<\/p>\n<p>eye-level emotionally with everyone. But Niall\u2019s posture was<\/p>\n<p>textbook perfect\u2014nearly rigid\u2014and although I came in at a<\/p>\n<p>respectable six foot two myself, Niall had several inches on me.<\/p>\n<p>I stood to greet them both.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJensen,\u201d he said. \u201cIt\u2019s so good to finally meet you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Even their accents were different. I remembered Max<\/p>\n<p>telling me of the time he\u2019d spent in Leeds, and how that<\/p>\n<p>had shaped the way he spoke, his words much looser and<\/p>\n<p>more common. But like everything else about Niall, even his<\/p>\n<p>accent was proper. \u201cIt\u2019s a shame we couldn\u2019t meet while we<\/p>\n<p>were all in London.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNext trip,\u201d I said, and waved him off. \u201cI was slammed<\/p>\n<p>this time around. I wouldn\u2019t have been much company. But<\/p>\n<p>it\u2019s really great to be able to meet you both now.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ruby pushed past him, stepping toward me and opting<\/p>\n<p>for a hug. In my arms, she felt like a willowy puppy: vibrating<\/p>\n<p>the slightest bit, bouncing on her toes. \u201cI feel like I already<\/p>\n<p>know you,\u201d she said, pulling back to smile widely up at me.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEveryone was at our wedding in London last year, and they<\/p>\n<p>all had stories about \u2018the elusive Jensen.\u2019 Finally, we meet!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Stories? Elusive?<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I wondered at that as we all took our seats. I didn\u2019t feel<\/p>\n<p>like the most interesting person these days. Helpful? Yes.<\/p>\n<p>Resourceful? Sure. But <em>elusive <\/em>has some mystery to it that<\/p>\n<p>I just wasn\u2019t feeling. It was strange to be thirty-four and<\/p>\n<p>sense that my life was slowing down, that my best years<\/p>\n<p>were somehow behind me, especially when I seemed to be<\/p>\n<p>the only one who felt that way.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cZiggy didn\u2019t stop talking about you for about a month<\/p>\n<p>after the wedding,\u201d I told Ruby. \u201cIt looked like an amazing<\/p>\n<p>event.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Niall smiled down at her. \u201cIt was.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSo what brings you to the States?\u201d I asked. I knew Ruby<\/p>\n<p>had moved to London for an internship that eventually led<\/p>\n<p>to a graduate program, and that the couple currently called<\/p>\n<p>London home.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe\u2019re taking a trip to celebrate our first anniversary, just<\/p>\n<p>going a little later than planned,\u201d he explained. \u201cWe started<\/p>\n<p>here, to pick up Will and Hanna.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ruby bounced on her feet. \u201cWe\u2019re doing a tour of breweries<\/p>\n<p>and wineries up the coast!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her enthusiasm was infectious.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat places are you hitting?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHanna rented a van,\u201d Niall said. \u201cWe\u2019re starting down<\/p>\n<p>in Long Island and over two weeks are working our way to<\/p>\n<p>Connecticut, and then to Vermont. Your sister organized the<\/p>\n<p>entire thing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI used to work out there at a winery on North Fork,\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I told them. \u201cEvery summer in college, I worked at Laurel<\/p>\n<p>Lake Vineyards.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ruby\u2019s palm playfully smacked my shoulder. \u201cShut <em>up<\/em>!<\/p>\n<p>You\u2019re an expert at all of this!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI can\u2019t shut up,\u201d I said, grinning at her. \u201cIt\u2019s true.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou should come along,\u201d she said, nodding as if it were<\/p>\n<p>already decided. Glancing at Niall, she gave him a winning<\/p>\n<p>smile, and he laughed quietly. She turned toward Bennett,<\/p>\n<p>Chloe, and Will. \u201cTell him he should come.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cInnocent bystander here,\u201d Will said, holding up his<\/p>\n<p>hands. \u201cKeep me out of this.\u201d He paused, taking a drink<\/p>\n<p>from his bottle. \u201cEven though it sounds like a pretty great<\/p>\n<p>idea . . .\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I stared blankly at him.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJust consider it, Jensen,\u201d Ruby continued. \u201cWill and<\/p>\n<p>Hanna and another friend are coming\u2014and thank God<\/p>\n<p>Hanna doesn\u2019t drink much, because at least one of us will<\/p>\n<p>be able to drive. It will be a fantastic group.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I had to admit, a local trip would be perfect. Although<\/p>\n<p>I had what felt like a million airline miles, the idea of flying<\/p>\n<p>somewhere for vacation sounded awful. A road trip,<\/p>\n<p>though . . . Maybe?<\/p>\n<p>But I couldn\u2019t do it. I\u2019d already been away from the office<\/p>\n<p>for more than a week, and I couldn\u2019t fathom how I would<\/p>\n<p>tackle everything in time. \u201cI\u2019ll think about it,\u201d I told them.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThink about what?\u201d Ziggy said, joining us again.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThey\u2019re trying to convince your brother to join you on<\/p>\n<p>your trip,\u201d Bennett told her.<\/p>\n<p>Ziggy nodded slowly at Ruby, as if digesting this. \u201cRight.<\/p>\n<p>Jensen, would you help me get everything for the cake?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSure.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I followed my sister into the kitchen and moved to the<\/p>\n<p>cabinet, reaching for a stack of plates.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cDo you remember what you told me at that party all<\/p>\n<p>those years ago?\u201d she asked.<\/p>\n<p>I wondered if playing dumb would work.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cVaguely,\u201d I lied.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWell let me clarify for you.\u201d She opened a box and<\/p>\n<p>pulled out a handful of plastic forks. \u201cWe were looking at a<\/p>\n<p>bunch of hideous paintings, and you decided to lecture me<\/p>\n<p>about balance.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI didn\u2019t lecture you,\u201d I said with a sigh. Her only response<\/p>\n<p>was a sharp laugh. \u201cI didn\u2019t. I only wanted you to get out<\/p>\n<p>more, <em>live <\/em>more. You were twenty-four and barely saw the outside<\/p>\n<p>of your lab.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAnd you\u2019re thirty-four and barely see the outside of your<\/p>\n<p>office and\/or house.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s entirely different, Ziggs. You were just starting life. I<\/p>\n<p>didn\u2019t want you to let it pass you by while you had your nose<\/p>\n<p>stuck in a test tube.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay, first, I never actually had my nose in a test tube\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cCome on.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSecond,\u201d she said, staring me down, \u201cI might have just<\/p>\n<p>been starting life, but you\u2019re the one letting everything pass<\/p>\n<p>you by. You\u2019re thirty-four, Jens, not eighty. I go over to your<\/p>\n<p>house and keep waiting to find an AARP membership on your<\/p>\n<p>coffee table or those sock suspender things in your laundry.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I blinked at her. \u201cBe serious.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI am serious. You never go out\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI go out every week.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWith who? The partners? Your softball friend?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cZiggs,\u201d I chastised, \u201cyou know her name is Emily.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cEmily doesn\u2019t count,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhat\u2019s your deal with Emily, for fuck\u2019s sake?\u201d I asked,<\/p>\n<p>frustrated. Emily and I were friends . . . with benefits. The<\/p>\n<p>sex was good\u2014really good, actually\u2014but it was never<\/p>\n<p>more, for either of us. Three years into it, and it had never<\/p>\n<p>gone beyond that.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBecause she\u2019s not a step <em>forward <\/em>for you, she\u2019s a step<\/p>\n<p>to the side. Or maybe even backward, because as long as<\/p>\n<p>you have accessible sex, you won\u2019t ever bother looking for<\/p>\n<p>something more fulfilling.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou think I\u2019m pretty deep, then?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ignoring this, she continued, \u201cYou were in London for a<\/p>\n<p>week and didn\u2019t do anything but work. Last time you spent<\/p>\n<p>a weekend in Vegas and didn\u2019t even see the Strip. You\u2019re<\/p>\n<p>wearing a cashmere sweater, Jensen, when you should be<\/p>\n<p>in a tight T-shirt showing off your muscles.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I stared at her blankly. I couldn\u2019t decide which of these<\/p>\n<p>was worse: that my sister was saying this, or that she was<\/p>\n<p>saying it at a three-year-old\u2019s birthday party.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay, gross, you\u2019re right.\u201d She shivered dramatically.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cLet\u2019s strike what I just said from the record.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMake your point, Ziggs. This is getting tedious.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She sighed. \u201cYou\u2019re not an old man. Why do you insist<\/p>\n<p>on acting like one?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI . . .\u201d My thoughts hit the brakes.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJust do something fun with us. Let loose, get drunk,<\/p>\n<p>maybe find a nice girl and get your freak on\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJesus Christ.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOkay, strike that last part,\u201d she said. \u201cAgain.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m not crashing their anniversary trip and being the<\/p>\n<p>third . . .\u201d I did the math. \u201c<em>Fifth <\/em>wheel. That\u2019s not going to<\/p>\n<p>add any sort of boost to my social life.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYou wouldn\u2019t be <em>any <\/em>wheel. You heard them, they have<\/p>\n<p>another friend coming along,\u201d she said. \u201cCome on, Jens.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a group of good people. It could be so much fun.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I laughed. <em>Fun. <\/em>I hated to admit it, but my sister had a<\/p>\n<p>point. I\u2019d come straight home from a solid, nonstop workweek<\/p>\n<p>in London\u2014with many, <em>many <\/em>consecutive nonstop<\/p>\n<p>workweeks before that\u2014with every intention of heading back<\/p>\n<p>into work on Monday. I hadn\u2019t planned for any downtime.<\/p>\n<p>A couple of weeks off wouldn\u2019t hurt, would they? I\u2019d left<\/p>\n<p>the London office in good shape for the upcoming trial, and<\/p>\n<p>my colleague Natalie could handle everything else for a lit-<\/p>\n<p>tle while. I had more than six weeks of accrued vacation,<\/p>\n<p>and the only reason it wasn\u2019t more than that was because<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d cashed out on ten weeks four months ago, knowing I\u2019d<\/p>\n<p>never use them.<\/p>\n<p>I tried to imagine two weeks with Will and Ziggy, two<\/p>\n<p>weeks of wineries, breweries, sleeping in . . . I nearly<\/p>\n<p>wanted to weep, it sounded so good.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFine,\u201d I said, hoping I wouldn\u2019t regret this.<\/p>\n<p>Ziggy\u2019s eyes went wide. \u201cFine . . . what?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019ll go.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She gasped, genuinely shocked, and then threw her<\/p>\n<p>arms around my neck. <em>\u201cSeriously?\u201d <\/em>she yelled, and I pushed<\/p>\n<p>away to put a hand over my ear.<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cSorry!\u201d <\/em>she yelled again, not really any farther from my<\/p>\n<p>ear than before. \u201cI\u2019m just so excited!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>A tiny ball of unease wormed its way into my chest.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWhere did you say we\u2019re going again?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n<p>Her expression became even more animated. \u201cI\u2019ve made<\/p>\n<p>an awesome itinerary. We\u2019re hitting breweries, and wineries,<\/p>\n<p>and a few awesome resorts\u2014with a final week at this<\/p>\n<p><em>unreal <\/em>cabin in Vermont.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I exhaled, nodding. \u201cOkay. Okay.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But Ziggy caught my hesitation. \u201cYou\u2019re not thinking of<\/p>\n<p>changing your mind already, are you? Jensen, I swear to\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNo,\u201d I interrupted, laughing. \u201cI just had this <em>really <\/em>insane<\/p>\n<p>person next to me on the plane yesterday and she<\/p>\n<p>mentioned going on a winery tour. I had a panicked moment<\/p>\n<p>thinking, in some freakish joke the universe is playing, <em>she<\/em><\/p>\n<p>would be the friend coming along. Let me be honest: I\u2019d<\/p>\n<p>rather slam my hand in a door, or eat a brick.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Ziggy laughed. \u201cShe was on the flight from London?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAt first she was okay, but then she got drunk and<\/p>\n<p>wouldn\u2019t stop talking,\u201d I said. \u201cIt would have been a more<\/p>\n<p>pleasant flight if I\u2019d been crammed into a middle coach<\/p>\n<p>seat. God, imagine a week with such a woman.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>My sister winced, sympathetically.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI feigned sleep for <em>four hours<\/em>,\u201d I admitted. \u201cDo you have<\/p>\n<p>any idea how hard that is?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSorry to interrupt.\u201d A small voice rose up from behind me.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBut, Hanna, look: my Pippa is here!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>I turned and froze.<\/p>\n<p>Playful blue eyes met mine, and her smile was delighted<\/p>\n<p>. . . and, this time, <em>sober<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Wait.<\/p>\n<p>How long had they been standing there?<\/p>\n<p>No.<\/p>\n<p><em>Fuck.<\/em><\/p>\n<figure class=\"image-inline alignleft\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/christinalaurenbooks.com\/Clo2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/02\/signature_laurenandchristina_zps921380ce.png\" alt=\"signature_laurenandchristina_zps921380ce\" width=\"300\" height=\"144\" \/><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>HELLO FAVORITES!\u00a0It&#8217;s almost time! Beautiful will be here in just over a week and we are so excited for you to see what everyone is up to. That&#8217;s right, EVERYONE.&nbsp;&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":3365,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[201,238,457],"tags":[507,203,236,452,212,249,512,253,486,514],"class_list":["post-3362","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-announcements","category-contest","category-extras","tag-beautiful","tag-beautiful-bastard","tag-beautiful-player","tag-beautiful-secret","tag-beautiful-stranger","tag-bennett","tag-jensen","tag-max","tag-niall","tag-will"],"acf":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/christinalaurenbooks.com\/Clo2\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/beautiful_giveaway-2.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/christinalaurenbooks.com\/Clo2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3362","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/christinalaurenbooks.com\/Clo2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/christinalaurenbooks.com\/Clo2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christinalaurenbooks.com\/Clo2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christinalaurenbooks.com\/Clo2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3362"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/christinalaurenbooks.com\/Clo2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3362\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4490,"href":"https:\/\/christinalaurenbooks.com\/Clo2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3362\/revisions\/4490"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christinalaurenbooks.com\/Clo2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3365"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/christinalaurenbooks.com\/Clo2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3362"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christinalaurenbooks.com\/Clo2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3362"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/christinalaurenbooks.com\/Clo2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3362"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}